Minor League Special Effects

Some of you may have seen minor leaguer Josh Womack's insane bat skills, but for those who haven't, they are pretty incredible. Womack was an outfielder in the Mariners farm system, but hasn't played at all this year for reasons unknown to me. He wasn't very good using a bat to hit the ball, with a career hitting line of .257/.325/.377, but thanks to these other bat skills, he's become an internet superstar. This looks more like special effects from a movie than the real thing, but it is definitely legit. Check him out for yourself.

WARTT's Bachelor Party Guest List

The Hangover has made nearly $200M in the month that it has been out, so I'm guessing by now, many of you have seen it. If you haven't, the plot is based on a group of three guys trying to remember what happened the night of the bachelor party so they can find their lost friend, the groom to be. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.

After seeing this movie (twice), I started to think which athletes would I want at my bachelor party in Las Vegas? Don't get me wrong, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis are a pretty good trio of actors to have on the guest list. But what three athletes would guarantee an incredible and unforgettable night? After thinking, I've decided on these 3....

John Daly - He claims when he was 23 years old, he drank a fifth of Jack Daniels daily. He's been thrown off of flights because of intoxication. He's been thrown out of Hooters restaurants because of intoxication. He's been thrown out of tournaments because of blow ups due to intoxication. The drink consisting of sweet tea flavored vodka and lemonade is often referred to as a John Daly (it is a tasty concoction). Not only can the man drink but he claims to have lost over $50M gambling in the past 15 years, including $1.5M in one day on the Las Vegas slot machines. He often says the reason he's so out of shape is because he enjoys smoking, Diet Cokes and food too much. And last but not least, he's been married three times so he knows his way around a bachelor party.

Peyton Manning - The guy's pretty good if you like six-five, 230 pound quarterbacks with a laser rocket arm. The guy is the best quarterback in the game, with three MVPs and a championship ring. But Manning would be in Vegas solely to add the comical element to the party. Just watch the video below.

Charles Barkley - The king of Vegas. The man who had a lawsuit filed against him by the Wynn for a $400,000 gambling debt. The man who admitted losing $2.5M in a six hour span playing Blackjack. When he was pulled over by the police in Scottsdale, Arizona last year, he had a .149 blood-alcohol level. And when asked by the police where he was going, he answered, "You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job." He went on the tell the police that he had received one from a prostitute the previous week and it was the best he ever had. When he was being processed, he told the officer that if he let him off, "'I'll tattoo my name on your ass," then laughed and corrected himself, "I'll tattoo your name on my ass." Gambling. Drinking. Brashness. Prostitutes. Tattoos. Charles Barkley would end up being my best man after this bachelor's party in Las Vegas.

Who would you take?

NBA Lottery Pix: The WARTT Way

One week ago today, the NBA held its 59th annual amateur draft at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The hype for this year's draft didn't live up to that of the previous two years', which both featured 2 players who arguably could have gone first overall (Kevin Durant/Greg Oden and Derrick Rose/Michael Beasley). Blake Griffin was by far the best player in this year's class with a large dropoff in talent after his selection. But nonetheless, there were players drafted and analysis was given. So here is this site's take on the 2009 NBA Draft, each pick and their actor comparables...

#1. Blake Griffin (Los Angeles Clippers) = Young Will Smith

The 6'10 Oklahoma power forward averaged 22.7 ppg and 14.4 rpg his sophomore year and was the most obvious first overall pick since Lebron James in 2003. Now I'm not saying Griffin will enter into the superstardom that James has, but Griffin will be a great NBA player...as long as he leaves the Los Angeles Clippers when his rookie contract ends. Now the show "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" was not the black hole that the Clippers organization is, but Will Smith knew when it was time to move on. And hopefully Griffin will know that that time for him is as soon as possible. Then he can move on and make the jump to superstar status much like Smith did when he made his firstmovie after leaving his sitcom, "Independence Day".

#2. Hasheem Thabeet (Memphis Grizzlies) = Chris O'Donnell

The shot blocking center from UConn was drafted by Memphis to shore up their weakness inside the paint. Unfortunately for them, Thabeet isn't that player. He's too soft, as we saw 6'7 DeJuan Blair from Pittsburgh, literally manhandle the 7'3 Thabeet. In one of the biggest games of the year, Thabeet scored 5 points, grabbed 4 rebounds and blocked 2 shots, while giving up 22 points, 20 rebounds and 9 blocks to the smaller, less athletic Blair. His disappearance was similar to that of Chris O'Donnell. After starring as Batman's sidekick, Robin, in the big budget but disappointing films, "Batman Forever" and "Batman and Robin", O'Donnell ended up starring in only two lackluster films in the next six years, eventually disappearing all together. At least, Thabeet can tell his children and grandchildren that he was in the same draft as Blake Griffin, just like O'Donnell has been telling people he got to work with Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman and George Clooney.

#3. James Harden (Oklamoha City Thunder) = Michael Clarke Duncan

Harden's performance in the NCAA tournament this season shows that he isn't the type of player to put his team on his shoulders and take over a game. He's slow, he can't create his own shot and he

doesn't want the ball in clutch situations. So why did he go so high

in the draft? Because of his basketball intelligence. Well, that and the lack of talent in this draft. Harden knows his strengths and weaknesses and plays within himself. As long as he knows his role on the court, much like Michael Clarke Duncan does on a set, he will be a solid player. Duncan is never the star of the movie, but his presence always shines through. No matter the cast, Duncan knows his role and plays it to the fullest. Harden's going to a young team that already has two superstars in the making, so he doesn't need to be the go to guy. Is he the usual type of player you draft at #3? No, but with a weak class and a young up and coming team, the Thunder took a role player they felt could help them improve in the long run.

#4. Tyreke Evans (Sacramento Kings) = Kenan Thompson

The Sacramento Kings needed a point guard and the three top ones were still available. But instead of taking one of those three, they opted for the guard who was the farthest thing from a point guard in Evans. His assist to turnover ratio was almost 1:1. His draft scouting reports listed some of his weaknesses as decision

making, ball handling, turnovers and out of control at times. Not the type of qualities you want in a point guard. Evans will struggle in Sactown, but because of the lack of talent around him, no one will notice. The move is very similar to Saturday Night Live adding Kenan Thompson to their floundering cast. No one cared about the show anymore, so it didn't matter how bad of an addition he was.

#5. Ricky Rubio (Minnesota Timberwolves) = Jamie Foxx

The Timberwolves lucked into getting the projected best point guard in the draft. They have two very good front court players in Al Jefferson and Kevin Love, but need someone to get them the ball down in the post. Rubio is just the player for that. He's a good decision maker who can create for himself as well as others in the open floor. He's been playing professional basketball since he was 14 years old in Spain. He knows how to be the star, and also how to be part of the supporting cast, much like Jamie Foxx in 2004. Foxx was nominated for an Academy Award as a supporting actor in "Collateral" and as a lead actor in "Ray". However, he made some rough movies before coming into his own ("Held Up" and "Bait"), and Rubio will undoubtedly go through some bumps in the road as well, being an 18 year old in the NBA. But in the end, Rubio will be a good NBA player and earn some of that hardware like Foxx.

#6. Jonny Flynn (Minnesota Timberwolves) = Cuba Gooding Jr.

Well, the Timberwolves lucked into getting the top TWO projected point guards in the draft. Most people thought they would trade one of these picks because they basically drafted the same player twice. Both are aggressive, have the ability to create their own shot and have excellent ball handling skills. But as of now, the Timberwolves are hoping to hold onto both of these guards. So what other actor has been the star as well as the role player? Also, has gone through some rough stretches in his career? And also has won awards? Cuba Gooding Jr. He's been in great movies ("Jerry Maguire" and "Men of Honor"), as well as awful ones ("Boat Trip" and "Rat Race"). Flynn will be a good basketball player, but no one knows how well Rubio and him can play together. There's a reason Cuba Gooding Jr. and Jamie Foxx have not been cast in the same movie, it wouldn't be pretty.

#7. Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors) = Jason Bateman

If there's anything Stephen Curry likes to do, it's to take shots. And if there's anything the Golden State Warriors like to do, it's to take shots. Seems like a perfect match. Curry isn't quite a point guard, and neither is the Warrior's current floor leader Monta Ellis. But together, the combo could be impossible to guard offensively. Defensively, well that's another story. Curry will have games where he won't miss, but he'll also have games where he can't even get his shot off. His career will be striking similar to former child star, Jason Bateman. He started off as a good college player, then teams figured him out. He now has to realize that he's not the star, but a role player. Much like Bateman had to realize just because he was the star of Silver Spoons and Hogan's Family, doesn't mean he was still a teen idol. He then began taking supporting roles such as Pepper Brooks in "Dodgeball" and Mark Loring in "Juno" and his career is still going strong. Curry will be in the league for a while because of his realization that he is a shooter, and only a shooter. And if Voshon Lenard can last in the league for over 10 years, so can he.

#8. Jordan Hill (New York Knicks) = Mekhi Phifer

Mike D'Antoni compared Hill to A'mare Stoudemire which is a stretch. Hill is a similar to player to starting Knick power forward, David Lee. The selection of Hill seems to be insurance in case Lee leaves through free agency. Either way, Hill will do what he does best. And that is rebound, contest shots and stay active in the paint. His ceiling isn't high but he will be a solid role player. Actor Mekhi Phifer has been a solid role player his entire career. Especially the past six years, in his role as Dr. Gregory Pratt on ER, where he was nominated twice for an NAACP award. Phifer is never going to win an Oscar and Hill isn't going to be an All-Star, but when both are put in the right situations, they improve their respective situations. Plus they both have rocked the dreadlocks and have rocked them well.

#9. DeMar DeRozan (Toronto Raptors) = Zac Efron

If there's one word that most scouts use to describe DeRozan, it's 'potential'. DeRozan has the size, frame and athleticism most two guards don't have. However, he doesn't have a long range shot, and he has trouble creating his own scoring opportunities. He also is not a good defender. But most scouts feel his upside is worth the risk despite his average freshman year stats. What actor has the 'potential' but isn't really proven yet? Zac Efron. Yes, he had the lead role in the High School Musicals, but that role didn't really show if he was a legit actor or a product of a Disney movie (Jonathan Taylor Thomas anyone?). Both DeRozan and Efron's career are as good as anybody's guess. But if I had to guess, I'm saying neither live up to their 'potential'.

#10. Brandon Jennings (Milwaukee Bucks) = Nick Cannon

Jennings is an interesting case in this draft. First off, instead of going to college for one year like everyone else does, he went overseas to play professionally for an Italian team. He played

sporadically, only averaging 17 minutes a game. In his one year overseas, he did not show the talent that caused many to predict he would be a top 3 pick when he returned. In high school, at Oak Hill Academy, Jennings won the 2008 Naismith High School Basketball Player of the Year Award. So which player did the Bucks draft? They drafted a little bit of both. A player who will be a serviceable point guard, but not an All-Star. They also drafted the player who's career will reflect Nick Cannon's. He's just functional at whatever it is he does, but he's still getting plenty of work. Plus he kind of looks like Nick Cannon. But I wish Jennings would have kept the high top fade.

#11. Terrence Williams (New Jersey Nets) = Tracy Jordan

Williams is one of the best athletes in the draft. He's also the most eccentric. He routintely walked around the Louisville campus in Spongebob pants and a Barbie backpack. On the court, sometimes, his intensity is off the charts, and other times, he's just not all there. But a lot of the positives of Williams' game don't show up on the stat sheet. He's very similar to actor Tracy Jordan. Despite Jordan's erratic behavior at times, he works well with his writers and co-stars, such as Liz Lemon and Jenna Maroney, on "TSG with Tracy Jordan". The Nets are hoping Williams can do the same with Devin Harris and Brook Lopez.

#12. Gerald Henderson (Charlotte Bobcats) = Terry Crews

Every team needs the player who can come off the bench and provide a spark, whether it be through his defense or athleticism, such as Trevor Ariza did for the Lakers last season. And every movie with the role of a muscular black man needs Terry Crews. Henderson and Crews know what their job is, and they are both successful at it.

#13. Tyler Hansbrough (Indiana Pacers) = Jon Heder

The Indiana Pacers reached and took the goofiest white guy in the draft. They by far, have the most white players in the NBA (6), which is an extremely questionable strategy. In all seriousness though, Hansbrough doesn't wear warmups when he warms up. He doesn't even put them on when he's on the bench to stay warm. No other player in college or the NBA does that. We'll see if he keeps this up in the NBA. Whether he does or he doesn't, he'll be in the league for years because of his rebounding skills, intangibles skills, intensity skills and ESPN's love for him. Dang!

From the Big Screen to the Big Play

In 2004, Will Smith made $28M for his role as Del Spooner in "I, Robot".

In 2005, Michael Vick made $23M as the starting quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons.

In 2006, Johnny Depp made $20M for his role as Jack Sparrow in "Pirates of the Caribbean".

In 2007, Kevin Garnett made $22M as the starting power forward for the Boston Celtics.

In 2008, Christian Bale made $38M for his role of Bruce Wayne in "The Dark Knight".

And this year, Alex Rodriguez is earning $32M as the third baseman of the New York Yankees.

Sports superstars and Hollywood hot shots are larger than life in our society. They are hounded and photographed. There are thousands of writers, blogs, websites, and reporters that cover these two significant subjects. Their autographs are highly sought after. Fans show up in droves to support their favorite teams and actors. On the Cubs last weekend homestand against the Indians, over 122,000 fans showed up to cheer on the Northsiders. And last Wednesday, Transformers 2 opened and earned almost $140M by the end of weekend.

Sports and Movies, two of America's biggest infatuations and the subjects of this blog. Both are important in our society, so why not combine the two? Both have interesting players and entertaining story lines. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on either by any means, but with some knowledge and a little research, "We Always Remember the Titans" should be an enjoyable read.