Thursday, July 2, 2009

WARTT's Bachelor Party Guest List

The Hangover has made nearly $200M in the month that it has been out, so I'm guessing by now, many of you have seen it. If you haven't, the plot is based on a group of three guys trying to remember what happened the night of the bachelor party so they can find their lost friend, the groom to be. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.

After seeing this movie (twice), I started to think which athletes would I want at my bachelor party in Las Vegas? Don't get me wrong, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis are a pretty good trio of actors to have on the guest list. But what three athletes would guarantee an incredible and unforgettable night? After thinking, I've decided on these 3....

John Daly - He claims when he was 23 years old, he drank a fifth of Jack Daniels daily. He's been thrown off of flights because of intoxication. He's been thrown out of Hooters restaurants because of intoxication. He's been thrown out of tournaments because of blow ups due to intoxication. The drink consisting of sweet tea flavored vodka and lemonade is often referred to as a John Daly (it is a tasty concoction). Not only can the man drink but he claims to have lost over $50M gambling in the past 15 years, including $1.5M in one day on the Las Vegas slot machines. He often says the reason he's so out of shape is because he enjoys smoking, Diet Cokes and food too much. And last but not least, he's been married three times so he knows his way around a bachelor party.

Peyton Manning - The guy's pretty good if you like six-five, 230 pound quarterbacks with a laser rocket arm. The guy is the best quarterback in the game, with three MVPs and a championship ring. But Manning would be in Vegas solely to add the comical element to the party. Just watch the video below.


Charles Barkley - The king of Vegas. The man who had a lawsuit filed against him by the Wynn for a $400,000 gambling debt. The man who admitted losing $2.5M in a six hour span playing Blackjack. When he was pulled over by the police in Scottsdale, Arizona last year, he had a .149 blood-alcohol level. And when asked by the police where he was going, he answered, "You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job." He went on the tell the police that he had received one from a prostitute the previous week and it was the best he ever had. When he was being processed, he told the officer that if he let him off, "'I'll tattoo my name on your ass," then laughed and corrected himself, "I'll tattoo your name on my ass." Gambling. Drinking. Brashness. Prostitutes. Tattoos. Charles Barkley would end up being my best man after this bachelor's party in Las Vegas.

Who would you take?


3 comments:

  1. If it were up to me and it was my bachelor(ette) party in Vegas, there is no question in my mind who I would invite. Big Cat Williams. I don't have any stories about his drinking propensities or his comments to dumbass cops but he is like 7 feet tall so I'm sure he could throw them back like a champ. And wouldn't you want a big guy like that on your side when you inevitably got into a pickle with a tiger or Mike Tyson.... ummmm, of course you would.

    p.s. Dear lopez, thank you for coming up with a blog that is only half about sports.

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  2. Two words.... Ricky Davis

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  3. id like to test josh hamilton's limits.

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